The worse way to enter a new relationship is hurt, broken, and abused from the last failed relationship. No matter how much you try to smile and act whole, the more your “brokenness” seems to ooze out like puss from a sore. You can bandage it, but the smallest amount of irritability will cause it to rupture again, causing the wound to be worse than its initial occurrence.
“Hurt people, hurt people” is so cliche yet so true. A hurt person will seek love from a person and deep down want that person to heal the wounds they are afraid to face. So many times hurt people don’t know how to reach out for help, they are fearful of the judgment that will come from their words.
I wanted him to heal me. I wanted him to commit to loving me and never leaving my side. I was selfish in thinking he had the power to heal what only God could do. Maybe if I would have took the time off it would have worked?! Purpose. It was a purpose for it all. Until I was truly alone I was able to rely solely on God to heal me. I was able to rely on God to be everything I want the relationship to be.
Hurt has purpose. Abuse has purpose. Addictions have purpose. Sin has purpose. All of these things have purpose to propel you to destiny.
Will you Heal Me?
Will you uncover the mysteries behind my wounds?
Will you cuddle me until I feel strong enough to deal with reality?
Will you love me past my wounds?
Sadly, you won’t be able to be as powerful as I need you to be to HEAL ME!
I have realized that I have done many wrong things in life, but in the still of a cool, Louisiana afternoon when the wind is breezing by and the sun is a hint of golden yellow, I desire to walk around the lake with a man that LOVES ME for ME. I sometimes say that I am a difficult human, confrontational (little), emotional (much), but will give my all to the one I love to make them smile..I did it for the wrong person, people, persons for to many seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months, and years. I deserved to be LOVED by the man God has designed for me.
Yet, we pray and it seems like that walks in after a couple months of continuously praying for a husband is him! We can become mesmerized by their relationships with friends, family, and its an added plus if he is a constant member of a thriving church! *Geesh (I felt I hit the JACKPOT)* There is nothing like meeting a person that is sensitive to your needs and that wants to do nothing, but spend time with you! Yet sometimes things can seem so perfect that we forget to stop…slow down…process and not get caught up in the hoopla! This is the point that I forget, the point that I stop, the point that I feel I have arrived. This is when I feel I have met the man that I deserved to be LOVED by that God designed just for me.
Time…Time…Emotions…Life can get away and the actions and personalities can change so quickly that….Well…..Let’s say that prayer that was left on hold…We go to grab it quickly like a dangling old school phone, before it hits the floor…BECAUSE….I deserved to be LOVED by the man God has designed for me.