Everybody shows love differently. LOVE can cause some to become clingy or distant. I’m addicted to the wrong love. I’m addicted to the love I must work extra hard for. The love that requires overtime in the fourth quarter of the championship game. The love that causes me to miss valuable life moments, because I am waiting for it to be reciprocated. I’m addicted to the love that causes me hurt and pain. I’m addicted to the love I know I deserve more from, but yet it feels good to receive this particular love because it makes me feel like someone. I’m addicted to the wrong love and when it is gone I feel like I have lost the best thing that has ever happened to me…. #DeliveranceFromTheNotEnough
Laughter. Holding Hands. Kissing. The feeling of Real Butterflies. Those are the signs of an unseen connection..An unforeseen cord that is slowly tangling itself together…Those are the beginning stages of LOVE..Yet the way a cord can be woven together is the same way it can be undone. Love its so mysterious and all of us have experienced it before, its just like a child playing with his/her favorite toy. The only time their happy is with the toy and the only time they are crying is without it.
I have love and I have lost, but this recent loss, AFTER THE KLUTH, has to be the second worse one. I try and search and figure out how to retrace my steps, but I remember first impressions are permanent. I was falling…falling…falling to deep, to soon….I feel I shouldn’t have opened up…Where did I go wrong I ask myself? I thought he was an answered prayer….Yet again I feel like a failure.
I wanna pack one bag. Buy a one-way ticket to Europe. And spend a year truly finding myself. I’m so intelligent yet so lost, I’m locked in this image of “I’ve Made It” yet I feel farther from success than before. It’s funny how our mistakes will push us down to the ground and make us realize that one mistake can truly cost us our entire being.
I find some comfort in realizing, maybe just maybe he wasn’t the one and its just another hurdle to make me stronger than ever before.