The worse way to enter a new relationship is hurt, broken, and abused from the last failed relationship. No matter how much you try to smile and act whole, the more your “brokenness” seems to ooze out like puss from a sore. You can bandage it, but the smallest amount of irritability will cause it to rupture again, causing the wound to be worse than its initial occurrence.
“Hurt people, hurt people” is so cliche yet so true. A hurt person will seek love from a person and deep down want that person to heal the wounds they are afraid to face. So many times hurt people don’t know how to reach out for help, they are fearful of the judgment that will come from their words.
I wanted him to heal me. I wanted him to commit to loving me and never leaving my side. I was selfish in thinking he had the power to heal what only God could do. Maybe if I would have took the time off it would have worked?! Purpose. It was a purpose for it all. Until I was truly alone I was able to rely solely on God to heal me. I was able to rely on God to be everything I want the relationship to be.
Hurt has purpose. Abuse has purpose. Addictions have purpose. Sin has purpose. All of these things have purpose to propel you to destiny.
Will you Heal Me?
Will you uncover the mysteries behind my wounds?
Will you cuddle me until I feel strong enough to deal with reality?
Will you love me past my wounds?
Sadly, you won’t be able to be as powerful as I need you to be to HEAL ME!
Everybody shows love differently. LOVE can cause some to become clingy or distant. I’m addicted to the wrong love. I’m addicted to the love I must work extra hard for. The love that requires overtime in the fourth quarter of the championship game. The love that causes me to miss valuable life moments, because I am waiting for it to be reciprocated. I’m addicted to the love that causes me hurt and pain. I’m addicted to the love I know I deserve more from, but yet it feels good to receive this particular love because it makes me feel like someone. I’m addicted to the wrong love and when it is gone I feel like I have lost the best thing that has ever happened to me…. #DeliveranceFromTheNotEnough
I’m thoroughly believe that love stinks! It has a way of creeping up and when you identify it at that moment it can be the best thing in the world, but after a while it starts to get old and clammy and suddenly slides away.
I am ME, take it or LEAVE it. I have FLAWS yet, I don’t have to beg for love, if you want me in your life you will show me. I shouldn’t have to beg you.
Justice System…Police Officers…World…All take up for low down, abusive, un-submissive, money hungry, righteous seeking, dreaming selling preachers with no air of respect of those around them. I’m convinced that some preachers only set up churches, because a 9-5 required to much submission for them. Along with their lack of submission to their jobs, you know submission in the marriage bed will be difficult also.
It can be seen as spiritual abuse to have sexual rendezvous with your so called “valuable” member. Pastors will sleep with the janitor at the hospital if they know she won’t tell the nurse that he’s screwing to. Yet tie her money and then preach of sexual immortality and make you feel guilty about tithing. The American Church is clearly in its final stages, before things will either get on course or fall all the way off!
Sometimes we can want so bad to change a meaningless situation that we allow pride and pain to become home for us. I took an incredible step on my path to holiness….Afraid of the voices and stares I had to release my mind of constant sorrow and imagine a sun rise that I never thought a deserved to see….
I broke my silence…I released my pain….I made the decision that I am worth more….
I confessed my sin….I reported my abuser….I decided to live again
I have been involved in an affair with a pastor…..Not my pastor before hand, but we had a well….Sensual overly friendly relationship (you catching my steez). He was verbally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally abusive. After years of this going on I was tired of being talked down to and decided to break my silence. I reported him for causing physical harm for the LAST time to me…I can ONLY PRAY & BELIEVE that this step is the best step in the right direction……
I hope my story touches the lives of other young women who once walked in my shoes..You are loved, adored, full of greatness….. YOU WILL LIVE AGAIN…
I learned that some people study you to know your trigger points. These are the points that if touched inappropriately will cause you to react in an unpredicted way.
All and more are cowardly ways that these pressure points are tickled.
So many times people thrive off of power. When they feel that they have lost the power they will do anything to get back at that person…Its a series of events that back you into a corner and cause you to act in a manner that the other person desires to possibly get back what you really want from them not need.
I myself am guilty…Playing in the amusement park of events, rides, themed events that cause me to react in a way that never benefits me, but benefits the person that applied negative pressure in my life.
The focus now is not to simply stop their actions, but stop how I REACT. In the end my reaction doesn’t effect the person, it EFFECTS ME and my FUTURE!!