Life can make you feel like you have already died, yet you are still living. Life has a way of beating you down until, you forget all the dreams and ambitions you had when you once were up. I know the feeling this is me. Yet despite the turmoil I put myself through and the turmoil I have allowed others to cause, I still believe there is hope for me.
Five years caused a mindset of someone to be lost from reality and living in a fantasy. The situation was wrong, yet I indulged in it, because it was the only sense of self-worth I had. Abuse after a bust I found my way out. Met a new person that I thought I would marry (Lord was I wrong). Only to be broken even more and questioning my self-worth. I learned about the things I needed to fix about myself, but I also learned there were some things that I just should not accept…Inconsistency being one. I try so hard to pray yet it feels like I’m so far. I’m thankful for grace & mercy because they kept me through it all. Divine favor is upon my life and despite my past it will not effect my future.
I miss what was and what could have been.
I am sad I fell in love with potential and not reality first. Maybe now, I wouldn’t be two months trying to forget you.